A marriage that becomes the bedrock of your son’s enriching childhood will certainly require a regular investment of your time and resources. One of the staples of a husband and wife investing in the marriage is the simple and consistent practice of a date night. I can’t point to a chapter and verse in the Bible that mandates it, but it is hard to imagine that a marriage in our busy world can be a prioritized and valued relationship if there are not regular times on the calendar set aside and guarded for one’s spouse.
Why a Date Night?
Your relationship with your spouse was likely initiated and cultivated by putting dates on the calendar and keeping them. Your relationship will be maintained and enhanced by continuing the same practice. I know, I know, you live with your spouse and you see him or her every day. I met my future wife when I was in high school. We had classes together. I saw her every day. I’m sure that classmates is all we would have ever been, were it not for making dates and investing in each other. Yes, you see your spouse every day, but to cultivate and deepen your relationship with your marriage partner you must get those dates on the calendar and keep them.
As parents of a young boy, this can be a challenge. But you need to be up for the challenge and make it happen. I can say that date night is one of the most important weekly reasons to share the care and oversight of your son with a grandparent, friend, or trusted babysitter. Even when they cry as you are on your way out the door, power through the separation anxiety in your own heart, and say, “Goodnight, I’m off to date your mom!” I can remember my tearful sons pulling the “you’re-killing-us-here” attitude when it was time for me to leave on my weekly date night. I would often get down on one knee, pull their little faces toward mine and say, “I’m going out tonight to date your mom, and I expect that when you are a daddy you will take your wife out on a date every week no matter how much my grandkids tell you not to!” It was my attempt to humorously impress upon their little minds the primacy of marriage—both mine, and one day theirs.
Of course there is a lot more that could be said about your investment in your marriage. If you are clueless as to how this can be done, pick up a good book on Christian marriage, or simply be bold enough to sincerely ask your spouse, “What can I do to make you a greater priority in my life?” And when you get the answers, be sure to put those things into practice in a way that reverberates throughout your home.
Make sure your boy can truly sense that you are committed to loving, serving, and prioritizing your covenant marriage partner.
About the Author
Pastor Mike is the founding pastor of Compass Bible Church. Mike and his wife Carlynn grew up in Long Beach, California, attending high school together and then the Moody Bible Institute in Chicago. Pastor Mike graduated from Moody with a Bachelor’s degree in Bible and Theology. Mike and Carlynn also attended the University of Arizona with Carlynn receiving her Bachelor’s degree in Education. Pastor Mike earned his Master’s Degree from Talbot School of Theology and a Doctorate from Westminster Theological Seminary in California. Carlynn and Mike have three children, Matthew, John and Stephanie.
Visit RaisingMenNotBoys.com to learn more about Pastor Mike and his book about raising sons.