A mom will make, on average, over 35,000 decisions a day. Obviously, many are simple and routine. But when it comes to decisions that make an impact on our relationships, family, and schedule, how do you confidently make the right decision?
Breaking it Down
Sometimes the biggest help in a decision-making process is to realize that it can be broken down into a process. There will be times when you move through this process in a split second without consciously thinking about it. But there will also be those situations when slowing down to consciously work through the process helps you rest confidently in your choices.
Clarity of Thought
The challenge of a decision is not always caught up in how difficult the choices themselves are. Often, your mental, emotional, and spiritual health at the moment are a greater hindrance than the options themselves. When you are not healthy, even a decision as simple as what to cook for dinner can become overwhelming.
Fortunately, the method for making simple decisions in unhealthy moments also works for making complex decisions at any time: create clarity of thought.
If at anytime you feel the decision being required causes your mind to race, makes your heart rate speed up, or creates confusion, step back and walk away. Take time to remove yourself from the decision and clear your head. For simple decisions, this may only require a moment or two of refocusing. Other times, though, this may mean delaying a decision for a few days. It’s okay!
Either way, always allow for clarity before deciding.
You know what it takes to keep your family healthy and strong. You know what will repeatedly conflict with your schedule and what will keep you from accomplishing the goals you have as a family. Because of this, it is important to set firm family boundaries to protect the health of your family.
Sometimes, though, a decision comes your way that challenges those boundaries.
If the decision requires you to break the boundaries you’ve set up to maintain a healthy family schedule and lifestyle, it is important to not be intimidated to think that your boundaries are frivolous or nonessential. You know your family better than anyone else.
If you know the decision is not worth breaking those boundaries, be bold enough to say no. If you lack that certainty, though, be brave enough to say, “Let me think about it.” Step back and walk away. Most decisions of this magnitude do not require immediate answers, nor do they require that you consult with anyone outside your family. Feel free to discuss the situation with your family in private and make a decision together without outside “help.”
Remember, you know your family. Whether you choose to maintain or break your boundaries is your choice. Do not let anyone bully you into making a different choice.
It never ceases to amaze me how little a child can be and yet have a skill set in the art of manipulation. Whether it’s a grown adult or a two year old, we all want our own way. When you feel that your confidence in who you are or the position you hold is being diminished, hold firm to your gut instincts and maintain your position!
If need be, intentionally surround yourself with people who will build you up and confirm your decision. If that is not an option, walk away from those who are trying to chip away at your confidence.
Always remember, though, that your greatest confidence comes through the hope of Christ. If your decision is grounded in the clarity brought by his Spirit and is founded in the boundaries he has led you to set for your family, then rely on him also for the confidence to hold to your decision. Rest continually in his strength, and turn back to his Word for your confirmation, remembering the command of Matthew 5:37: “Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No.’”